Having grown out your hair since the 8th grade, securing it in a knot each day out of necessity, brushing it daily 100 times with a boar bristle brush to disperse the natural oils. Only to awake, one morning, to learn your lifelong identity has been deemed a “man bun.” An indelicate phrase for your painstaking care, especially when most of the folks getting the moniker haven’t even made it to shoulder length. Psshhhh. That’s the sound of your freshly baked man bun. Deflating.